Going on a BEAR Hunt

Ahhhh, how great it is to be back in the 254! In all seriousness, I missed this small town and it's nothing-to-do-ness. But really, I've had a lot to do. I (finally!) got all moved in to my new room and I am very, very thankful to have a new roommate who is not only nice, but sane. Please breathe a sigh of relief now.

My new classes have all been very enjoyable thus far, and I've even picked up a bit of French. The secret to speaking French, I leaned, is to always keep your lips puckered when you talk and to raise one eyebrow. Then you can say anything and it will be French. Seriously, go to France and try it.

So I went apartment hunting today with my prospective roommate. It was fun. What I learned from looking at apartments:

1. The furniture in the model is not as nice as the stuff that is actually in the apartment you will be living in.
2. The color of the carpet is all subject to change.
3. Back doors are a great thing. That way, if a rapist is comin' through the front, "E'RY BODY OUT THE BACK! THERE'S A RAPIST UP IN HERE!"
4. If an apartment has a back door, it's probably for a reason...
5. Sometimes that reason is not so great... (See #3)
6. If the office smells like smoke, get out because that means fire.
7. Unless it's cigarette smoke. But then you should still get out because second-hand smoke is deadly.
8. Always ask if the rooms are non-smoking. You'll get a sketchy look from the smoker trying to get you to rent an apartment.
9. Look out for dog poop. People who live in apartment complexes just let their canines relieve themselves anywhere.
10. A tree in a closet means the closet is big.

Turn your head side-ways and you'll be able to see it better...
11. Counter space is a must.
12. If the bed in the model apartment looks like it has been slept in, that means it probably has. Thanks, Goldilocks.
13. If the manager looks like trailer-trash, so do the apartments.
14. Never trust an apartment complex pool. Sketchyyyyyyyy...
15. Always bring your prospective roommate along. She'll add to the entertainment factor of the adventure, usually by getting lost in a town the size of a small town.
16. Bringing along a gun when hunting for apartments is inadvisable. Apartments aren't vicious animals. It's the landlords you should watch out for.

That's about it on apartment hunting. Keep it klassy, my friends.